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October 24, 2008
The Pres' Palouse Park Bench - Meet The Fairweathers
It seems to me that everyone is jumping off the Cougar football bandwagon this year. It hurts me quite a bit on the inside to know that Cougar fans are so incredibly fickle so as to abandon their team in a struggling season. But after taking a closer look at the reason why the Cougars are losing faith with their fans, why don't we take a look at some of the teams that never seem to struggle with bandwagon fans. Even though there is an absolute litany of teams in the professional leagues (the new one being the Tampa Bay Rays) we'll stick with college sports to find those teams that identify with everyone, even if you just bought their short at Target and like the color. So here they are, in particular order:
1. USC Trojans
Just about everyone in southern California in the past few years have lacked on to these Princes of South Central. Their national championships in football and continued success in many other sports has brought in a legion of fans that don't necessarily know the names of the players, but they love to love a winner. Plus the fact, their students are some of the most egotistical and rudest people on the planet. I don't like getting heckled at O'Hare Airport people.
2. Texas Longhorns
Do more people in Texas know the "Hook 'em Horns" sign better than they know who the president is? Who knows, but both came from the state I've been instructed not to mess with. Even in my hometown outside of Seattle, people are seen wearing Longhorn gear even though they have no idea who Colt McCoy is. For the ladies, I think they just like the burnt orange color.
3. Florida Gators
Recent national championships? Check. Championships in multiple sports in the same year? Double check. Party school that others all around the country emulate and a star Heisman winning quarterback that many of the women around the country find attractive? Well, you've got yourself Florida and an easily explanation for their following.
4. North Carolina Tar Heels.
Michael Jordan. Vince Carter. Tyler Hansbrough. Rasheed Wallace. And of course George Karl. All of these notable alumni along with their national championships should be enough of a reason. The last one really is hatred towards the other school right down Tobacco Road.
5. Duke University
You either hate or love Mike Krzefinyshtkinwhe ..Coach K. The same goes for all of his players including J.J. Redick and Greg Paulus. Plus the fact, the elite and snobby "I'm better than you and I want you to know it" really doesn't help matters. But these are the most popular basketball shorts of all time; which doesn't help things at all. Almost forgot to ask: how has football been the past few years?
6. Brown University
"I say Higgins, my young niece has made the impeccable decision to procure an admission to Yale University. Of course, my old chap, it's no Harvard but at least the dear girl hasn't gone to terrible old university such as Brown (big old stock broker laugh)."
Honestly I have no problem with Brown. I just know the rich people in New York and that one episode of the Simpsons thinks it's a terrible Ivy League school. And I wanted to try and talk like a Harvard grad. Pretty much shows what my Palouse education has taught me (and I lost my thesaurus).
7. Notre Dame Fighting Irish
The school has bandwagoning roots way back in the early days of collegiate sports, starting with Knute Rockne. Those bandwagoners have raised their children to love Notre Dame and now with Charlie Weis and Jimmy Clausen, they are fans of the Alpha and the Omega of college football hatred. I know people who love them and I know people who would rather walk through a field of burning sulfur being pelted with old garbage then have a conversation with Clausen (yours truly, plus I'd be smelly if I walk through that field).
8. Ohio State University
To appease my grandfather and stay in the family will, I have to put the Buckeyes on here. Really, they draw many of their fans from the state of Ohio and because they can't stand Michigan. But it doesn't help when your mascot is a poisonous nut. I mean, really? You can't even win a "My mascot can beat up yours" argument.
9. Michigan Wolverines
Now I'm out of the will for sure. Honestly, between them and Ohio State it's all about who you can't stand more. And frankly, right now, I can't stand Wolverine fans who think their team is incredible when they are lead by a coach who's on par with Nick Saban in terms of loyalty.
10. Washington Huskies
Please, you had to see this coming. Plus, I grew up in Seattle where every new kid in town latches onto a school that hasn't ever won an actual national championship in football (won it in one of almost 10 press polls in 1960, mythical split in 1991). Sorry to break it to you, you don't deserve any of those banners. And their fans are the most irritating of any I've met with the biggest undeserving sense accomplishment since I colored inside the lines for the first time as a senior in high school. By the way, nice colors guys, purple and gold. Sounds like a leprechaun had the flu for a week.
Last Week: 2-2
Cal played a wild game in Tucson last week. They will look to calm down against an absolute snooze of a team in UCLA.
Bears Are Made Of Gold? 27, Just Plain Bears 10
Oregon: a team that was supposed to be good and is. Arizona State: a team that was supposed to be good and stinks like Tacoma.
Gordon Bombay's Team 45, Devil With a Trident (makes sense) 17
The Trojans proved they can score points and so has Arizona. Late game of the day Saturday, this will be a shootout and fun to watch.
How Not To Have Babies 42, Common Mascot Name 34
Do Notre Dame fans enjoy Ty Willingham's pain? Yes. And as policy I figure Notre Dame grads are usually pretty smart so I'll listen to them.
Tiny, Boxing, Red-Headed Midgets 35, Bye Bye Ty 21
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